I was reading this book on
And it offered this strategy:
Don’t think of your children as
Behave in certain ways.
Think of them as
Huh, I thought.
We are animals after all.
Species: Homo sapiens
When my son was born,
I remember studying the
Whorls of the hairs between the small shoulder blades,
And running a finger down the
Knobs of his spine.
“He’s a little animal,
A small creature,” I marveled.
Five years later,
The whorls have faded to blond and the
Spine knobs are usually covered by a t-shirt.
He is starting to be
Which I guess is my job as his
It’s difficult to not rely on
Reason and logic to
Make a case to him.
But it’s true.
When I ask him
He did a certain unacceptable thing,
He shrugs and says,
“I don’t know.”
And I believe him.
I think he really doesn’t yet have the
Or when I try to create
Golden Rule parallels for him:
“How would you feel if someone
Did [something inconsiderate] to you?”
He just looks blank.
Or when I try to explain the layers of
Reasoning behind why I tell him not to do things:
“Do you see how sharp this knife is
That you just tried to grab?
It could slice into your finger,
We’d have to go to the hospital,
You could get nerve damage,
Maybe lose the use of your finger!”
I’ve lost him after “sharp knife,”
Which is more of a fascination than a
Best, the book says,
To just say “No,”
Offering no explanation or reason,
And follow with immediate–
Wow, it’s hard.
I have to pretty much
Train myself to shut up
Before I even start to train him.
It’s probably good for both of us.